How to open a tube (let’s go with tube) of Pillsbury biscuits

1.       Purchase a tube of Pillsbury biscuits from Walmart (or anyway really. I just have a fascination with Walmart at the moment. It's like Asda, but different (they sell cacti to EAT!)) They look like this:

2.       Do NOT use a can opener (especially one that does nothing but tear the label off)

3.       After ignoring number 1 completely and using said can opener, do NOT attempt to finish the job with a pair of scissors while the dough inside expands at an alarmingly rapid rate until you feel there might be more on the outside of the tin than inside and you lose sight of why you are even bothering.

4.       After ignoring 1 and 2, do NOT throw the scissors aside and use your bare hands (this will result in a cut that will not stop bleeding and a confused new (and LOVELY) Texan friend who has no idea what you mean when you ask her to bring a plaster round. FYI, it is ALWAYS a ‘band aid’ if you want to save time and stem the flow of blood quicker)

5.       ALWAYS read the instructions, which clearly state that NO can opener should be used in the process, and that actually the tube should simply ‘pop’ open with a twisting motion focused in the centre (which my husband demonstrated when he arrived home, God bless him).

6.       Throw away the tube with or without (it’s your preference) a string of choice words and mumblings.

7.       Bake your biscuits and enjoy them with pretty much anything (as seems to be the Texan way – I recommend butter and honey, wisdom provided by my sister-in-law).

Here are my first attempts:

  

FYI: Here are the temperature conversions (crucial) from centigrade to Fahrenheit that I have taped to my fridge (Yes, that is a Texas fridge magnet):

FYI part 2: We did not buy this fridge, it CAME WITH THE APARTMENT! Thank you Texas! (That does not happen very often in England, hence my glee…we also got a microwave and it’s HUGE!) In fact, here are some pictures, just for kicks: